How to identify narcissistic behavior and abuse

Personality disorders begin in adolescence or young adulthood. They are underrecognized because of the difficulty in diagnosis, and because of their characteristics, people with personality disorders usually do not seek therapy. In-Mentis Integrative Psychology explains how you can recognize the signs of narcissistic personality disorder.

How to recognize narcissistic personality disorder

Narcissistic personality disorder occurs in 0 to 6.2 percent of the population, more commonly in men than women. They will present five (or more) of the following characteristics in different contexts.

A person with NPD:

• Has a sense of grandeur and arrogance (for example, exaggerates achievements and talents, expects recognition from a superior without corresponding successes)
• He is consumed by fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty or perfect love
• Believes that they are “special” and unique, and that they can only be understood or associated with other special or high-status people (or institutions)
• Has an excessive need for admiration
• Shows a sense of privilege (ie, unreasonable expectations of being treated well or having one’s expectations automatically met)
• Exploits interpersonal relationships (ie uses others for his own purposes)
• Lacks empathy: Unwilling to acknowledge or identify with the feelings and needs of others
• Often jealous of others or thinks they are jealous of them
• Exhibits arrogant behavior or an attitude of superiority

How to recognize victims of violence

We may have a narcissistic parent, sibling or partner, but also a co-worker or boss. The impact that being around someone with this disorder can have varies depending on our relationship with them, as being raised by a narcissistic mother is not the same as working with a narcissistic colleague at the company we just joined. as adults.

Victims of narcissism are often characterized by the symptoms they exhibit. Often, victims suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder due to the violence, and with it, the symptoms that characterize this disorder.

Examples of psychological abuse by a narcissist include:

• Financial abuse (monitoring your bank accounts; secret spending, purchases or investments without consulting you; lying about your income)
• Excessive control (access to the victim’s mobile phone, computer, location, friends and acquaintances). It can even manifest itself in the fact that the victim self-isolates to avoid arguments or obscene faces
• Humiliation, criticism, insults, contempt and invalidation that leave the victim feeling inadequate
• Dismissing or underestimating the victim’s emotions, suggesting that the victim is exaggerating the extent of the abuse, or is dramatic and unbalanced, making the victim feel bad
• Emotional blackmail and pressure to achieve their goals so that victims always give in and never do what they want or want
• Determining the victim’s preferences so that he stops liking what he used to like

How do narcissists attract people?

Typically, a narcissist will flatter or give wonderful gifts and surprises, especially in the early stages of a relationship. This double message, negative and positive, brings you down and takes you to heaven, it is what keeps you confused and dependent on the relationship.

Victims may think it’s hurtful, but they’re still loved, and the negative things they say are for their own good. However, it may not always seem that way, as the abuser may be having a “good day”. However, this does not prevent them from being abusers.

Other people may have a completely different opinion of a narcissist than you do, often because they find them charming, kind, affectionate, funny, in short, perfect. This can lead you to believe that you are actually the one who is unhealthy, or even that you are the one with the disorder; it might even make you think you’re a narcissist.

If you feel that you have been affected by some or all of the aspects described in the article, or have doubts about relationships, please know that you are not alone. Contact the staff at In-Mentis Integrative Psychology – they are here to help!